Kapp Educational Therapy Group
EDUCATIONAL THERAPY For Learners 5th Grade to Adult with ADHD and Executive Functioning Challenges
Rachel Kapp grew up in Los Angeles. She graduated from the University of California, Berkeley, where she earned a Bachelor of Arts with Honors in Sociology and minored in Jewish Studies. Rachel began tutoring students in high school, eventually choosing to pursue a career in education. For over six years, Rachel was a lead preschool teacher where she gained a firm foundation in explicit teaching.
Rachel has been a tutor in private practice since 2004, working with students in a variety of subjects including all levels of math, reading, history and writing. After working with so many types of students over the years and realizing she was passionate about building relationships with and helping students who learn differently, Rachel decided to pursue Educational Therapy. She completed her coursework at the California State University, Northridge in December 2015 and Masters degree in December 2016.
In her free time, Rachel loves spending time with her husband, Adam, sons, Elliot and Owen, and their dog, Fritzy, watching Cal Football, cooking for friends, and spinning.
Rachel is a Board Certified Member of the Association of Educational Therapists. She is a co-founder and co-host of the Learn Smarter Podcast, a resource offering over 350 episodes of educational content for educators and families. Rachel is an active participant in ongoing education through the International Dyslexia Association and she is also trained in Wilson Reading Systems.
Takeaways:
- Executive functioning skills are not inherent traits; they can be cultivated through dedicated learning and practice.
- Educational therapy should not be perceived as a permanent necessity; it aims to empower learners towards independence.
- Parents play a crucial role in educational therapy by stepping back, allowing their children to take initiative in their learning process.
- The distinction between educational therapy and tutoring lies in the focus on developing strategies rather than merely addressing academic content.
- The virtual landscape of educational therapy can foster just as meaningful connections as in-person sessions, debunking common misconceptions.
- Understanding and addressing underlying learning challenges can prevent significant achievement gaps from forming in learners.
Website
www.kappedtherapy.com
Social Media Information
@kappedtherapy (IG)
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Transcript
We act as if executive functioning skills are an inherent quality and they're not.
Speaker AThey're a skill that can be learned.
Speaker AEducational therapy should not be a lifelong sentence.
Speaker AAnd so she came back to me a few weeks later, she said, you know what, Rachel?
Speaker AEver since you said that, both my husband and I are really seeing what you're talking about.
Speaker AAnd we do think she's missing some things.
Speaker AWe end up going through the process and getting her an assessment.
Speaker AAnd turns out she there's an auditory processing disorder.
Speaker AAnd I felt, I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but to catch that at four and a half for a little girl who's not behavioral, it was going to get ignored for a really long time.
Speaker AParents will bring up things with teachers for years before a teacher finally says, you know, I think you're right.
Speaker AI think oftentimes parents think they want in person because they somehow think that the connection is going to be stronger or better.
Speaker ASpeaking from my experience of working with so many students virtually at this point, there's no difference that I feel in the connection that I have to an in person learner or a virtual learner.
Speaker AWhat we need from parents is the collaboration to have them step back so their learner can step forward.
Speaker BHello, my name is Mark Taylor and welcome to the Education on Far podcast.
Speaker BThe place for creative and inspiring learning from around the world.
Speaker BListen to teachers, parents and mentors share how they are supporting children to live their best authentic life and are proving to be a guiding light to us all.
Speaker BHi Rachel, thank you so much for joining us here on the Education on Fire podcast.
Speaker BGreat to chat to somebody who's a fellow podcaster.
Speaker BIt happens every now and again and it's nice that somebody's got a bit of an insight of what that's like.
Speaker BAnd also I always find it great being a guest because it kind of.
Speaker BIt's a different feeling, isn't it, than being a co host or.
Speaker AIt's so nice being a guest.
Speaker AAnd thank you so much for having me.
Speaker BOh, brilliant.
Speaker BI'm really looking forward to this because you're obviously helping so many different people.
Speaker BSo why don't we start with educational therapy in terms of what that is and maybe how that's different from tutoring or what people's sort of preconceived conceptions may be perfect.
Speaker AThank you, Mark, for having me and for.
Speaker AFor creating this platform for us to have this conversation.
Speaker ASo my name is Rachel Kap.
Speaker AI'm a board certified educational therapist.
Speaker AI'm based in Los Angeles, California and a little bit about educational therapy.
Speaker ASo as educational therapists, we are focused on helping learners where they are, meeting them, where they are, helping them learn the skills and the strategies of studenting in order for them to become independent and autonomous.
Speaker AThere's a few things that makes us really different.
Speaker AThe first from a tutor, the first is we're not really interested in the content.
Speaker AWe will use the content to teach them skills and strategies, but it doesn't really matter what the learner is using.
Speaker AOur primary focus is how is the learner taking in information and then how they're sharing their knowledge.
Speaker AAnd let's work out any inefficiencies, let's work out any sort of learning differences or medical diagnoses.
Speaker AAnother thing that makes us different from a tutor is we're trying to work ourselves out of a job.
Speaker AEducational therapy should not be a lifelong sentence.
Speaker AYou can always have a tutor because the subject matter is often is new, it's always novel, it's always new.
Speaker AFor the learner.
Speaker AOur job is to help them figure out how to hold themselves up rather than having another adult or another teacher or another mentor helping to hold them up.
Speaker AWe're often the last stop.
Speaker AOftentimes parents will try tutors because obviously that's what everybody knows, not everybody knows about educational therapy.
Speaker ASo they'll try content area tutors.
Speaker ABut we, we kind of take our, our approach and to the next level.
Speaker AWe often, well, not often we all have a higher ed degree in learning in special needs or a certificate of some equivalency.
Speaker AAnd, but educational therapy isn't everywhere, which is why, and it's a relatively new field which is why a lot of people haven't heard about it.
Speaker ASo ed therapy is really located in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Dallas, Chicago and.
Speaker ABut it's expanding, it's expanding and I.
Speaker BGuess that probably takes us very nicely into the whole kind of idea of the virtual world in terms of like say you've got the opportunity for one on one with.
Speaker BWe were in obviously in a local area, but very different in this day and age with the virtual world as well.
Speaker BSo take us into the kind of maybe the differences between in person and virtual and how you've kind of made that work for what you've put together.
Speaker AIt's a really good question.
Speaker ASo I can only speak to my experience and my area of expertise I'm specialized in and my business is specialized in learners who struggle with executive functioning skills challenges.
Speaker ASo we focus at my practice on Learners who are 5th grade through adulthood and we do work with a lot of adults in our practice, so I always like to share that.
Speaker ABut the true.
Speaker AI can only give the story of how sort of the virtual took off for our practice locally here.
Speaker AIn January 2020, my practice made the decision to specialize and obviously In March of 2020, we had to go completely, virtually and candidly, that wouldn't have been the direction that I would have taken my practice in.
Speaker AI had some limiting beliefs around the virtual work and.
Speaker AAnd Covid obviously forced us to explore it more.
Speaker AI should also add that educational therapists don't have licensures.
Speaker ASo we're not like a marriage and family therapist that's only licensed to practice in California or in New York.
Speaker AWe can work with learners wherever they are.
Speaker ASo the virtual work has been extremely meaningful, extremely effectual.
Speaker AAnd, and it's in my estimation, I mean, we made the decision last year that we're going to completely embrace virtual.
Speaker AWe do not offer in person sessions anymore.
Speaker AThe work is meaningful, the work is collaborative and the connection is there.
Speaker AI think oftentimes parents think they want in person because they somehow think that the connection is going to be stronger or better.
Speaker ASpeaking from my experience of working with so many students virtually at this point, there's no difference that I feel in the connection that I have to an in person learner or a virtual learner.
Speaker AI will say that there are certain specialties within educational therapy, people who are maybe working on helping learners to decode and learn how to read that it probably would be beneficial to be in person.
Speaker ABut for the work that we do at CAP Educational Therapy Group, there's no market difference.
Speaker ASo we've completely embraced the virtual world.
Speaker BAnd it is fascinating, I think, that sort of sense of in person and virtual, because I spend a lot of my time sat here in the virtual world and I've got really, really important relationships with people that I might only see once or twice a year.
Speaker AExactly.
Speaker BWe're chatting all the time, we're meeting all the time, we're kind of building businesses all the time.
Speaker BAnd I think it's the human to human contact, which I think, like I say there is something when you're in person, but it doesn't take away in a way as much as you would expect it to.
Speaker AI agree, we.
Speaker ASo I haven't mentioned this, but I also.
Speaker AWell, he mentioned I also have my own podcast called Learn Smarter, the Educational Therapy Podcast.
Speaker AAnd we could talk more about that if you want.
Speaker ABut likewise, we've never met our editor and he, he's done Our podcast art.
Speaker AHe's done our podcast art round two because we've updated over the years and he's been in New York.
Speaker AWe have a texting relationship, we have a zoom relationship.
Speaker AWe talk to him all the time because we talk to him throughout the episodes as he's editing them and he responds back to us, you know, there's a delay, but this is someone that we have an extremely collaborative relationship that we know a lot about and we've never met.
Speaker AWe keep telling him he needs to come to Los Angeles so that we can take him to dinner and, you know, see how tall he is.
Speaker BThat's really true.
Speaker BIt's really true.
Speaker BAnd, and, and I completely, I completely relate.
Speaker BI mean, I've got a show called Creative Amplifiers where we're, we help people build their YouTube channels and get themselves set up online and all of that.
Speaker BAnd I've got two co hosts.
Speaker BOne's a Brit but lives in Portugal, and the other one lives in la.
Speaker BAnd, and we met in person and in an in person event.
Speaker BBut actually our relationship, apart from the two or three other times we've met in person, is completely virtual.
Speaker BAnd yeah, it's a fascinating world and I think especially young people, and I.
Speaker ABet you feel connected and it's quite, I mean, when you're doing a business venture or building something with somebody, it's quite an intimate experience.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AAnd to not have that in person interaction, but still feel like this is a person who knows me, this is a person who understands me, this is a person who knows my strengths and weaknesses.
Speaker AI, it's, it's really.
Speaker AI'm grateful for it.
Speaker AI'm grateful for the opportunities that the Internet has provided.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AAnd I embrace it.
Speaker BYeah, for sure.
Speaker BAnd I like to say podcasting is a great example of that, isn't it?
Speaker BWe're able to have conversations to share the work of people who you'd never be able to get face to face with.
Speaker BAnd so it's absolutely fantastic, you know, let alone the fact that you're, you know, you've got people in your ears on their walk, the gym, you know, doing housework or whatever.
Speaker AIt's such an intimate relationship.
Speaker AAnd I know that I've had that because I'm a big podcast listener myself.
Speaker AAnd so I, that that relationship is so intimate.
Speaker AAnd I've had, you know, the point of my podcast wasn't to necessarily bring clients into the practice.
Speaker AIt was to expand awareness and access to the work that we do.
Speaker ADeeply believe in access and equality of access.
Speaker AAnd so, but it's funny when you do come across those people who will ask you really specific things about your life that you don't even remember saying on the podcast.
Speaker AAnd.
Speaker AAnd I had a former client was like, so what happened with the blinds at your house?
Speaker AAnd I went there, there.
Speaker AYeah, we solved the problem or whatever it was.
Speaker AAnd I'm like, how did you know about that?
Speaker AShe's like, oh, you mentioned it in this episode.
Speaker AWe recorded that episode six weeks ago.
Speaker ABut thank you for following up.
Speaker AI didn't remember saying it, and I.
Speaker BThink it's a really great example of that, of the essence of what we do, because you can look at the website and the websites look fantastic and it gives you loads of information.
Speaker BBut even just hearing that sort of story brings the personality and the relationships to the fore, doesn't it?
Speaker BAnd you can't do that any other way, really.
Speaker AYeah, it's a great meet.
Speaker AI love podcasts.
Speaker BSo in terms of how you kind of built it out, you sort of talked about how you sort of the virtual world came and covered and that kind of thing.
Speaker BBut what was the sort of the.
Speaker BThe essence of wanting to.
Speaker BThe business in, In.
Speaker BIn the beginning and that sort of, sort of acorn moment before it sort of started to flourish?
Speaker AYeah, I actually want to even go back further.
Speaker AI think I. I think it would be meaningful to sort of talk about my trajectory and how I found educational therapy, because I do think it's a combo of educational therapy found me and I found it.
Speaker ASo after I graduated from college, I went to UC Berkeley.
Speaker AGo Bears.
Speaker AAnd after I graduated from college, I really didn't have a plan.
Speaker AI was a highly motivated, highly competitive student.
Speaker AAnd my.
Speaker AMy goal was getting into college, which I know a lot of families can relate to.
Speaker AI hadn't really given a lot of time or attention or thought into what was going to happen once I graduated.
Speaker ASo I end up moving back home and I. I'm just like, I gotta work.
Speaker AI. I'm a person who thrives with structure.
Speaker AI'm a person who thrives with accountability.
Speaker AI'm a person who thrives being busy.
Speaker AAnd I say yes to a lot of things, and I'm learning to say no, but I. I say yes to a lot of things.
Speaker AAnd.
Speaker AAnd so I actually wound up teaching preschool for about seven or eight years.
Speaker AI loved it.
Speaker AI loved being with the little kids.
Speaker AI was teaching Pre K. It's a really fun age, actually.
Speaker AMy older son will be entering Pre K in the fall.
Speaker AI'm really excited because it's just such a fun age.
Speaker AThey're intentionally funny.
Speaker AThey are still young, and they need you.
Speaker ABut there's a level of independence there that maybe is not there yet.
Speaker AAt three and a half, which is how old he is now.
Speaker AAnd I loved the work.
Speaker AI had one student who I was doing a circle time, and I was noticing after many, many weeks, she was a little girl.
Speaker AAnd I was noticing she's not attending to what is being shared at circle time.
Speaker AAnd that's when we're giving new information.
Speaker AThat's when we're teaching, we're talking about things.
Speaker ABut she wasn't a behavioral problem, right?
Speaker AShe was sitting there.
Speaker AShe was completely looking at me and paying attention to me.
Speaker ABut if you asked her what was circle time about?
Speaker AShe would give a very kind of.
Speaker AIt was never.
Speaker AIt was never correct the answer that she would give, or she would just look at me.
Speaker ASo I casually.
Speaker AAnd there's a science to how you talk to parents about these things.
Speaker ABut I casually said to her, mom, have you noticed that when you give her verbal information, maybe she doesn't.
Speaker AYou have to give it to her a second time.
Speaker AOr.
Speaker AOr she's not quite.
Speaker AShe's not quite taking it in.
Speaker AAnd she's like, you know, we really haven't noticed, but let me pay attention.
Speaker AAnd so she came back to me a few weeks later.
Speaker AShe said, you know what, Rachel?
Speaker AEver since you said that, both my husband and I are really seeing what you're talking about.
Speaker AAnd we do think she's missing some things.
Speaker AWe end up going through the process and getting her an assessment.
Speaker AAnd turns out she.
Speaker AThere's an auditory.
Speaker AAuditory processing disorder.
Speaker AI felt.
Speaker AI'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but to catch that at four and a half for a little girl who's not behavioral, it was going to get ignored for a really long time.
Speaker AAnd the.
Speaker AAnd the gap would.
Speaker AThe learning gap and the achievement gap would have been really big for her by the time it was caught.
Speaker AAnd so I started exploring how kids learn more.
Speaker AAnd I knew that I was coming to the end of my time teaching preschool.
Speaker AI had done everything that I could do at that point.
Speaker AI was a mentor teacher.
Speaker AIt had really given me a foundation.
Speaker AFoundation in explicit instruction, which segued perfectly into educational therapy.
Speaker AAnd I found my master's program and I started going.
Speaker AAnd three years later, I graduated.
Speaker ABecause I was working many jobs full time.
Speaker AI was still tutoring.
Speaker AI'd been tutoring since high school, and I was 27 at the time.
Speaker AI was already Dating my now husband.
Speaker ABut our lives weren't completely merged yet.
Speaker AAnd I knew it was the time I knew that I wanted to be in business for myself.
Speaker AI wanted to work for myself and have that sort of flexibility.
Speaker AI come from a family of entrepreneurs, and so it wasn't such a big leap, but it was scary.
Speaker AIt was scary.
Speaker AAnd then I started the practice in January of 2016.
Speaker ABy 2017, I was accepted, expanding, and by 2018, I was starting the podcast.
Speaker AAnd it sort of just has grown from there.
Speaker AAnd I'm grateful for my business because it provides me the kind of flexibility that I really want in my life now with my two little boys, while also mentoring a team.
Speaker AAnd it has allowed me to expand my impact.
Speaker BAnd I think that's key.
Speaker BI mean, as a freelance myself, you know, I'm a musician, so I get to perform.
Speaker BI still get to do some teaching and give back, like you say, in terms of that sort of being able to share my passion of music as well.
Speaker BAnd then, yeah, the online world of podcasting and streaming and all of that kind of thing.
Speaker BBut what's your.
Speaker AWhat's your instrument, Mark?
Speaker BSo I'm drums and percussion.
Speaker ASo do you know that I knew you were going to say drums before you said it?
Speaker AI said, I bet he's drums.
Speaker AOkay.
Speaker BBut I'm on.
Speaker BI'm on the more classical side.
Speaker BSo I do sort of orchestras, opera, ballet, music, theater is kind of where my kind of sort of more sort of love that middle ground is.
Speaker BSo to say you're not going to see me necessarily on a big rock stage anytime soon.
Speaker BI think probably at my age, that's probably not going to happen either.
Speaker BBut you never know.
Speaker AIt's never too late.
Speaker BExactly, exactly.
Speaker BBut I think having that, like I say that that ability to create the life that you want in a way that you can for the support of your children.
Speaker BThat's why we decided to work in that way, make sure one of us was always going to be at home for the kids and that kind of thing.
Speaker BAnd, you know, my kids are sort of almost come through.
Speaker BOur youngest is just about to go to uni later in the year.
Speaker BAnd you just think all those times that you're able to spend, you can't get that back.
Speaker BAnd I'm very grateful for the opportunity to do in that.
Speaker BAnd like I say, the life that you create as well as what you're given in order to sort of make that work, you mentioned about, about that little girl, in terms of picking those issues up early enough to Help get that support.
Speaker BHow does that work generally?
Speaker BBecause I know you've got lots of people that are offering that now.
Speaker BWhen either a teacher or someone thinks there's something, what is that sort of next step?
Speaker BIs there a traditional route or route where they can come to you more directly and then kind of take that into what that process then looks like for someone who may then get involved with what you're providing?
Speaker AYeah, it's a great question.
Speaker ASo there's a lot of different ways that can happen.
Speaker AI can only speak to sort of what happens in the United States, so at least locally to here, to me here in LA and California.
Speaker ABut really this is the trajectory and it depends on what is sort of going on for the learners.
Speaker ASo I'll just start there.
Speaker ABut there's a lot of different ways that a learner can find their way into educational therapy.
Speaker AUsually it's identified.
Speaker AAnd I will say that there is usually a parent and usually it's the mom who has a strong mom gut of something's going on.
Speaker AThey are, but they may not know what.
Speaker AAnd oftentimes parents will bring up things with teachers for years before a teacher finally says, you know, I think you're right, let's look into this.
Speaker AAnd there's a lot of different reasons for that.
Speaker ASometimes it can come directly from the teacher, sometimes it can come from the pediatrician, because obviously a medical diagnosis or traumatic brain injury will.
Speaker ACan end up with a learner.
Speaker AIn educational therapy, there's a lot of different paths to getting a diagnosis.
Speaker AYou can do a independent assessment which is privately paid, usually not within insurance.
Speaker AThe school system will do their own assessment, but it depends on where you live, sort of what tests are allowed to be given.
Speaker AFor example, in Los Angeles, in our public school system, you are not allowed to give an IQ test for sort of obvious reasons.
Speaker AThey're inherently biased and, and so it just sort of, and.
Speaker ABut even in a public school assessment, things can go missed if it's extremely nuanced.
Speaker AYou do not have to have an assessment or a diagnosis to be a good candidate for educational therapy, at least at my practice.
Speaker ADifferent educational therapists may have different ideas about it.
Speaker AAlso, educational therapists can administer, sorry, some assessment tools and assessment tests.
Speaker AI personally do not do that because there's really good, much better qualified people to do that sort of deep retrospective work and introspective work.
Speaker AAnd so there's a lot of different ways that a learner can go about the figuring out who they are as a learner.
Speaker AAnd so there's not one path.
Speaker ABut I always say, at least in my practice, if you have a learner who's not meeting expectations, who is habitually not prepared for their day, who is shocked on Sunday night at 11 o' clock that there's an essay due the next day, who does the assignment but doesn't turn in the assignment, who's taking too long on minor homework, that should just be like a give me assignment, but they're spending hours in it and they can't differentiate what's important and what's not important, that's a good candidate for educational therapy.
Speaker AIf you have 200,000 emails that you've never read, that's a good candidate for educational therapy.
Speaker AAt least a CAP at therapy group.
Speaker AThose are sort of our, those are our peeps.
Speaker BSo when someone then comes to you, take us through the process of what they would expect in terms of like say that first meeting and then, and then sort of the process through.
Speaker BBecause I guess each session is going to be different, bearing in mind everyone's individual and that's kind of what you're trying to produce.
Speaker AGreat question.
Speaker ASo we've already had the conversation and we've determined that they're a good fit, that we're a mutual good fit.
Speaker AThere are three phases to how our process works.
Speaker AAt my practice.
Speaker AThe first phase is we are building out their foundational system.
Speaker ASo a system for managing their time, a system for managing themselves physically and a system for managing themselves digitally.
Speaker AWe are very upfront and clear with parents in those first four successions that it takes to create those foundational systems that we're not dealing with late homework, we're not studying for tasks.
Speaker AYou have to have those systems in place to have a strategy for dealing with that late homework and preparing properly for that test.
Speaker ASo those are the foundational systems that need to be in place.
Speaker AThen they move into the second phase of our work which we are teaching them to maintain those systems.
Speaker AThis is something that our population that we work with at CAP educational therapy is very, very, we call it internally, they're famous for this.
Speaker ALearners who struggle with executive functioning skills challenges are kind of similar in this way in that they are always seeking out and looking for novelty.
Speaker ASo this is a population that will find a new app and they'll be like, this is the app that's going to solve all my problems.
Speaker AOr the, their, their parents are going to Staples, Amazon and buying all the organizational things.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ABut their kids aren't using them and their kids aren't maintaining them.
Speaker ASo we are teaching them in the first five to ten minutes of every session how to maintain those executive functioning systems because they are not going to do it independently without accountability.
Speaker AAnd then we spend the remainder of our time focused on what we call the nitty gritty of our learning.
Speaker ASo things that are tricky for our learners are things such as written expression, reading comprehension on non preferred literature, struggles with task initiation.
Speaker AThat's a nice way of saying procrastination issues with understanding the assignments and understanding what's asked of them.
Speaker AFocusing on substance over style.
Speaker AThis is a population that loves to focus on the style over substance.
Speaker ASo if a teacher gives them an opportunity to create like a PowerPoint slide, for example, they're going to spend, they're going to start and spend 80% of their time making sure the slides look beautiful, but they have not spent any time thinking about what they're going to put on the slide.
Speaker AWe are going to focus on study skills, we are going to focus on self advocacy and then they will gradually move into the third and final phase of our work together, which we're looking for five things internally at the practice.
Speaker AAnd this is how we know when we can graduate a learner out.
Speaker ASo we want them to do five things.
Speaker AWe want them able to independently maintain their systems without coaching from us.
Speaker AWe want them to be able to predict what is challenging and why, meaning we really want them to have a sense of who they are as a learner.
Speaker AWe want them to be able then to self select the appropriate strategy for that challenge.
Speaker AWe want them to be able to advocate appropriately with the adults in their lives.
Speaker AAnd we want them to know what to do when they don't know what to do.
Speaker AAnd that's when we start to have the conversation as they're approaching mastery on some of those skills, if not all of those skills.
Speaker AThat's when we start to have the conversation about scaling back the amount of sessions per week and giving them a little bit more of an opportunity to be independent.
Speaker AFamilies never want to scale back sessions.
Speaker AWhy?
Speaker ABecause good intervention from our practice means that family and home life has improved.
Speaker ASo they're scared to pull back on those sessions.
Speaker ABut the reality is the sessions have been effective and they've learned what they've needed to learn and then we let them flourish and go.
Speaker BAmazing.
Speaker BAnd I think that's such a well encapsulated picture there of how that works and you can see how supportive, how supportive it is.
Speaker BBut I think like you said, I can sort of identify with what you said about the kind of letting go at the end because you get comfortable again, don't you?
Speaker BYou think everything's working.
Speaker BEveryone's.
Speaker BEveryone's gained the skills that they want and what they're trying to do.
Speaker BBut of course, the reality is, is we're trying to make everybody as supportive of themselves, whatever their age.
Speaker BAnd like I say, supportive going into their adult life as well or certainly next phage or how they're doing that.
Speaker BAnd there's one of the sorts of sort of conversations that sort of help that, you know, if there's a parent that's sort of talking to their child, what's maybe a conversation that they had when they were really struggling before they understood some of this stuff compared to the sorts of conversation maybe they'll have like, say as they're about to sort of leave and, and take their own sort of steps.
Speaker ASo this I thank you for asking the question.
Speaker AIt's such a smart question because yes, we're working with the learner themselves, but we're working with the whole family system.
Speaker AAnd the goal of intervention should be that family and home life improves, but really that the parent and child relationship improves.
Speaker AThere can be a lot of tension around learning and there can be a lot of misunderstanding around learning.
Speaker ASo we have a fundamental belief in the practice that.
Speaker AAnd we ask parents to join us in this belief and understanding, which is tricky and can take some time.
Speaker ABut our belief is that when learners can do something, they will.
Speaker AAnd when they're not meeting expectations, they're not doing what you think they should be doing.
Speaker AThey're procrastinating or it's a no, no word in our practice.
Speaker ABut parents will often say their learner is lazy.
Speaker ANo, they're not.
Speaker AIf they could do it, they would.
Speaker ABecause all learners, we are born wanting to please the adults in our life.
Speaker AWe want to please our parents, we want to please our teachers.
Speaker AAnd if we're not and we're not meeting expectations, there is a reason and the reasoning is usually is that it's hard.
Speaker ASo we ask parents to sort of shift their understanding of their learner into if they could, they would.
Speaker AAnd if they're not, let's get curious and not punitive.
Speaker ASo we really do have to have a highly skilled conversation with the parents.
Speaker AAnd we set this all up in our getting started session with families, which is the very first session you're going to have with your clinician.
Speaker AAnd we sort of set up, these are the questions you're allowed to ask your learner.
Speaker AWhat we need from parents is the collaboration to have them Step back so their learner can step forward.
Speaker AAnd there has to be sort of.
Speaker AIt's a fine line.
Speaker AIt's a tricky dance that we're doing with these families.
Speaker ABut what that means is the parent has to be comfortable that there might be some failure in that, but that their learner will learn.
Speaker AAnd there might need to be some boundaries in that.
Speaker ABut we only encourage parents to ask their learner three questions every day, which is, are your systems updated?
Speaker AWhat do you need to accomplish, and what's your plan for that?
Speaker AMeaning I don't really want our parents going into the portal, online portal system and sort of navigating that on their own and then going to their kid and saying, this is what you have to do.
Speaker AHave you done this?
Speaker ALike, this is what your teacher.
Speaker AYou're missing this.
Speaker AHave you asked your teacher about.
Speaker ASo sometimes we have to do things like, and this is rare, but sometimes we have to do things like change the password on the families so that they can stop.
Speaker ABecause it can be a little bit of an addiction of, of sort of monitoring.
Speaker ALook, the portals are never going away, but they have to be used as a tool that they are, and not as a tool for damaging your relationship with your child.
Speaker AIt's really hard because at least in our population of learners that we work with, they struggle with executive functioning skills.
Speaker ASo if you see your learner struggling with executive functioning skills, you as a parent will start to do the executive functioning for your kid.
Speaker AAnd that's normal and totally understandable, but it does create conflict.
Speaker AMost learners don't want their parents operating that way, and most parents don't want to be operating that way either.
Speaker AAnd that's what we tell the kid is like.
Speaker ANo, they, they've graduated from school.
Speaker AThey don't want to be doing this again.
Speaker AThey want to be your parent.
Speaker AAnd if you're in those final years before you go to college, you.
Speaker AThey don't want their relationship with you to look like that either.
Speaker ASo we work on sort of helping the whole family adjust under our guidance.
Speaker BAnd I think the, the simplicity of that in the complexity is really fascinating.
Speaker BAnd, and, and I think that sort of having that bird's eye view, be able to step back and understand it in its most fundamental way, like you say, just by offering two or three things to be aware of.
Speaker BAnd then you don't need to get into the weeds.
Speaker BAnd like you say all the things that come from that as well.
Speaker BAnd, and I think that applies to everybody as well.
Speaker BIt's very easy.
Speaker BAnd like you said, As a parent wanting to help life be easier for your child and so it's easier to do it for them.
Speaker BBut they don't learn.
Speaker BAnd that's.
Speaker ABut they don't learn.
Speaker AAnd also these are parents that deeply identify with their child's learning experience.
Speaker ASo we always say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Speaker AOftentimes one or both of the parents can relate to these challenges.
Speaker AOr this is honestly more common, depending on which parent we collaborate with.
Speaker AMore they accuse their partner.
Speaker AThis is my partner and I already have to do this for my partner.
Speaker AAnd I want my, I don't want this for my child and they don't want it for them.
Speaker AAnd, and I'm highly organized and I'm highly structured.
Speaker ABut they're, but there's a reason your partner partnered up with you if your strengths are different than theirs.
Speaker AAnd so parents will have one of two reactions to sort of their kids studenting, which is, I figured it out so they don't need extra help, like just let them figure it out.
Speaker AOr I wish I had had this kind of support.
Speaker AI wish this had been something that was available to me because they got the message.
Speaker ABecause when you don't know better, you can't do better.
Speaker AThey got the message as adults that they were lazy, that they weren't smart, that they, they didn't care about school.
Speaker AAnd the truth is, is none of that is likely true.
Speaker AIt's just these executive functioning skills challenges were getting, getting in the way of accomplishing and achieving what they wanted to.
Speaker BAnd do you also think that the modern system as it is, with the testing and all the kind of, the under the microscope kind of thing, also isn't helping either?
Speaker BBecause you, you have to be a certain way, you have to achieve this by this way.
Speaker BYou have to do it in this particular way, which we know makes no sense for so many people.
Speaker BSo the understanding who you are and what you're trying to do within the system, let alone doing it in terms of life to help you outside of that system.
Speaker BAnd seeing how those two things kind of, they do a merry dance even in the world that we're in now, that must be a really beneficial thing just to open that door like say, and that conversation.
Speaker AI mean, you're absolutely right.
Speaker AThe way that we, the way that we have structured learning and then we have structured demonstrating your knowledge is really, really tricky.
Speaker AWe talk about all the time that we just have to get this kid through, frankly to college.
Speaker AAnd if we can get them through, then they can start taking Classes on what they like.
Speaker AThey can start taking classes at a time of day that is more beneficial to them.
Speaker AAnd now they can go really, really deep into their zone of comfort and into their zone of interest.
Speaker AAnd so, yes, the world is not set up.
Speaker AAnd there's also frankly no good way to assess a learner's knowledge or have the learner have the opportunity to demonstrate their knowledge without executive functioning skills sort of interfering.
Speaker ASo we always say knowledge is one really, really, really small component of what's being assessed.
Speaker AIt's, can you answer all the questions?
Speaker ACan you manage your time properly?
Speaker ADid you have your notes in the right place?
Speaker AWere they organized and structured the way the teacher said they wanted them?
Speaker ACan you recall information at the right moment, at the right time?
Speaker AAll those.
Speaker AI have this great, I do a lot of presentations on a lot of speaking and I have this great slide where it's like, okay, this is the execration, this is the grades equation, right?
Speaker AAnd knowledge plus executive functioning skills equals the grade.
Speaker AAnd here's knowledge, that one small thing and then all these other things fly into the screen of what is actually impacting the grade.
Speaker ADoes your learner show up to class on time?
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ALike that can be a time management issue.
Speaker AThey don't know how long it's going to take for them to go to their locker, get the information they need.
Speaker AGet what?
Speaker ANo, make the right selection at their locker and then walk across campus to get to class on time.
Speaker AWell, now your grades impacted.
Speaker AThat's an executive functioning skill that has nothing to do with knowledge.
Speaker AAnd then parents get frustrated, right?
Speaker ABecause those are the easy points to get.
Speaker AI'm like, easy is not so easy for this population.
Speaker ASo.
Speaker BAbsolutely.
Speaker BAnd, and I think that's really in, in the wider scope of this conversation, it's about teaching individually to the child, isn't it?
Speaker BLike you say, and, and on one end it can be a myriad of things, and then the other side of it it can just be one or two little things that make all the difference.
Speaker BAnd I think understanding that personalized learning, which is what I love about what you're doing, but also being able to do it on scale as well with having multiple people that can help people across the board means that so many more people are able to one like say, start with these conversations, but also get the, the support that they need to help them going forward.
Speaker BAnd I love the fact as well that it's not just the, the pupil or the person that you're dealing with, it's also the family and how it affects everybody.
Speaker BI. I think it's a really, really important thing.
Speaker BAnd, yeah, I'm really grateful that you've been able to explain it in such a way that makes it so clear.
Speaker AThank you.
Speaker BSo I'm always interested, especially people who've been involved in education as well.
Speaker BIs there a particular education experience or teacher that you remember that had an influence?
Speaker BGood, bad, depending on how you look at it, sort of influenced, or do you sort of think about that in terms of what you're now doing?
Speaker AI love this question, so I'll just share.
Speaker AI come from a family of teachers.
Speaker AI know I said I come from a family of entrepreneurs.
Speaker AThe other half are teachers.
Speaker AAnd so educators and teachers were revered in my home.
Speaker AAnd oftentimes that meant I wasn't allowed to criticize the teacher or if I had a challenge.
Speaker AIt was very rare that I would have a challenge with the teacher, but my mom, in particular would usually tell me the teacher's perspective of a conversation.
Speaker ABut I was really fortunate I grew up.
Speaker AI know everybody's so afraid of the public school system in Los Angeles, but I had the most incredible public school experience.
Speaker AI really had remarkable teachers all the way through who wanted to be there, who were lit up by us, and who.
Speaker AWho loved being around us as students.
Speaker ASo, in particular, I went to a middle school and high school that at the time was the number one in the state and number 10 in the nation, and it was a college prep magnet.
Speaker AAnd I was there from 6th to 12th grade, which was amazing because you got this, really, for the teachers, looking back, how wonderful you get to watch these sixth graders grow up and go off to college.
Speaker AIt's really a lovely experience as a teacher, but I think we all go into education sort of hoping that we're going to have the Mr. Holland's Opus moment, which is what we often talk about on the podcast.
Speaker AIt's oftentimes why you want to be that teacher, who you had, who.
Speaker AWho had that impact.
Speaker AAnd for me, that was a T. And me and probably hundreds of other students was a teacher named Mr. Rutchman.
Speaker AHe.
Speaker AI had him in 10th, 11th, and 12th grade.
Speaker AHe taught AP Euro, AP US leadership, which was student government, which I also participated in, and AP Psychology.
Speaker AAnd he was that teacher.
Speaker AAnd he did have that Mr. Holland's opus moment, because after a couple years after I graduated, he was retiring and leaving that school, and people came back from 30, 40 years to send him off.
Speaker AAnd it was an incredible, incredible, incredible achievement.
Speaker AAnd in fact, it's so funny because My brother, he's quite politically active and he was just posting on social media and he texted me, he said, did you see that?
Speaker AMr. Richmond commented My post.
Speaker AHe's still that guy, you know, he's still that guy for us.
Speaker AAnd he has spawned a generation of teachers and he saw us, he commanded respect.
Speaker AHe understood inherently family dynamics.
Speaker AHe made history and psychology so interesting and so alive through storytelling.
Speaker AAnd he also turned me into an incredible writer.
Speaker AHe had incredibly high standards and you've never met a more hardworking individual.
Speaker AHe would get to the school because he lived quite far away.
Speaker AHe would get there by 6am and he'd be grading for two hours and then he would be teaching all day and then he'd be going home and being a dad.
Speaker AAnd he was just a remarkable, remarkable man.
Speaker AAmazing is a remarkable man.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker BAnd it's so great to hear that.
Speaker BAnd, and I love the themes that run through the podcast because that theme about being seen, about being heard and like, say, the storytelling and the understanding, you know, it's never about.
Speaker BThey got me to do this one particular way of learning and that kind of thing because everyone's different.
Speaker BAnd like you say in your experience, you're working with people in a certain way to help them.
Speaker BIt's always about the essence of what we're doing and who we are and how we do that.
Speaker BSo, yeah, it's fascinating and brilliant to be able to hear that.
Speaker BIs there a great piece of advice you've been given or indeed a piece of advice you might give your younger self now, looking back, that would be helpful for people.
Speaker AI love this question and thank you for asking.
Speaker AI think I would tell my younger self to relax and have a little more fun.
Speaker AI was like, I, I shared.
Speaker AI was a high achieving, highly motivated student.
Speaker AAnd that was the design of the middle school and high school that I went to.
Speaker AIt was a college prep magnet.
Speaker AIt was to get us in and get us in it did.
Speaker ABut I. I didn't spend a lot of time or energy thinking beyond of what I wanted the rest of my life to look like.
Speaker AI really only had my life planned up till 22.
Speaker AAnd that's a scary thing.
Speaker AAnd I.
Speaker AIt was, it was a lot of hard work in my 20s of sort of figuring out who I wanted to be when I grow up.
Speaker AI still don't know who I want to be when I grow up, but I know that I really like where I am now.
Speaker ABut I wish I had had more fun.
Speaker AI did have fun in college, everybody, but I wish I had.
Speaker AHad.
Speaker AI wish I could have relaxed a little bit because at the end of the day, frankly, nobody cares.
Speaker AWhen I went to college, it's never mattered.
Speaker BAnd I think, and I think that having fun's really interesting because you can get to a point where you think having fun takes away from the work that you're doing and all of that, but of course it doesn't.
Speaker BBut I think you'd like to say you get into this cycle of it needs to look like this, and it's kind of working for me, so I'm going to keep doing that.
Speaker BAnd I think, I think, like you.
Speaker ASay, a lot of the steam out of it.
Speaker AMark.
Speaker BYeah, yeah, I have.
Speaker AI, you know, I don't want to deter from the fact that I. I was extreme and am extremely proud of where I went to school, and I'm extremely grateful to have had that experience at Berkeley, because if there's nothing like being taught by the person that created it.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ALike, there's nothing like that.
Speaker AAnd.
Speaker AAnd I had some wonderful, wonderful professors and experiences and classes, and.
Speaker AAnd it was.
Speaker AIt was truly a remarkable place to be.
Speaker ABut I somehow figured out in college how to have fun while doing all that.
Speaker AAnd I could have done that in high school, too.
Speaker BBrilliant.
Speaker BNow, is there a resource you'd like to share?
Speaker BAnd this can be professional or personal or anything from a video, song, podcast, film, book, but something you'd like to share.
Speaker ASo something that had a tremendous impact on me, and I will preface this by saying that there, this is a problematic book and looking back on it through the lens of who we are in 2025.
Speaker AAnd I'm not even sure what year it came out, but I would guess it was around 2015 that this book came out.
Speaker ABut Lean in by Sheryl Sandberg had an incredible impact on me.
Speaker AI read that book and then six months later quit my job and started my business.
Speaker AAnd I'm like, I'm gonna lean in because of all the research that she shared in this book.
Speaker AAnd look, this book is written by a woman, a white woman of privilege.
Speaker AAnd there's a lot of problematic aspects.
Speaker AAnd if you go back and look at it.
Speaker ABut at the core, what it really talked about was the way women show up at meetings, the way women apply for jobs, the way women negotiate their salaries.
Speaker AAnd this is something that has been deeply mission driven for me.
Speaker AAnd when I see my team show up as women, frankly, and not ask for the raise and not lean in because they're going to get married two years from now, and so that means they're going to have a baby three or four years from now.
Speaker ASo I'm not going to do that, take that opportunity.
Speaker ANow, I will go against my own self interest as the business owner and email them after, like their annual review and say, you really should have done this.
Speaker AAnd if you want to practice with me, I'm inviting that conversation, but you have to do it a month from now when you get a little scared.
Speaker AAnd so because I want, I.
Speaker AThere's a reason there's a pay gap.
Speaker AAnd part of it is the way we show up.
Speaker ASo, you know, women won't apply.
Speaker AThere's some statistics that women won't apply for a job unless they have 80% of the qualifications or something insanely high like that.
Speaker AMen don't operate like that.
Speaker AThey figure I have 20% of what they're looking for and I'll learn on the job.
Speaker AAnd so that book had a tremendous impact.
Speaker AIf you can sort of look through it through the lens of, oh, this could.
Speaker AThis is problematic, and here's why.
Speaker AAnd I think Sheryl Sandberg has been quite clear that she understands the weaknesses of the book as well.
Speaker ABut overall, that book had.
Speaker AThat was a transitional book for me.
Speaker BYeah, I love that.
Speaker BAnd we'll have links to these things in the show notes as well for people who want to go through.
Speaker BCheck it out.
Speaker BAnd so as we start to wrap up, obviously the acronym FIRE is really important to us here on the show.
Speaker BAnd by that we mean feedback, inspiration, resilience, and empowerment.
Speaker BWhat is it that strikes are either one word or collectively?
Speaker AFor me, it's the resilience piece of the population that we get to work with.
Speaker ALook, these have kids.
Speaker AThe learners and adults that we work with are people who have gotten a lot of really negative messages about how they show up in the world.
Speaker AAnd I'm often asked, does my kid have to want this?
Speaker ADo they have to be motivated to be a part of this process for it to be effective?
Speaker AAnd I always say no, they have to like who they're working with, but they don't have to be motivated around this.
Speaker AAnd let's not even have that be an expectation.
Speaker ABecause if I worked, let's say a learner is coming in in eighth grade, and if I worked for nine years of school and had consistently gotten the message that you're not good at this, you're not trying hard enough, you're lazy, which again, is a word we don't use in the practice, the only way I could have internalized that, if I didn't understand my larger learning profile is that I'm somehow not intelligent.
Speaker AI wouldn't try either.
Speaker AThat's the point is that that is actually to sort of like disconnect from their learning is actually a sign of healthy self esteem.
Speaker AAnd I'm not, I'm not good at this.
Speaker AI'm not going to get my esteem from this.
Speaker ALet me go find it somewhere else.
Speaker AAnd so what we can do through good intervention and frankly through really, really strong relationship with the clinician that they're working with is we can sort of peel that back a little bit, work with them, start to give them little micro successes and though that success will beget more successful.
Speaker AAnd this is an extremely resilient population, this is an extremely strategic population.
Speaker AAnd I always tell families this is a population that tends to be extremely hireable and likable and or will work for themselves.
Speaker AAnd so there's not enough good things I could say about those who struggle with executive functioning skills because they are a skill that can be learned.
Speaker AWe act as if executive functioning skills are an inherent quality and they're not.
Speaker AThey're a skill that can be learned.
Speaker BAnd I think that's a great message to end on because I think people listening will then if they haven't thought about it in those ways before or come across it in a way that we've been able to chat about today, it's going to really give something for people to think about and I think be supportive as well, especially if people are struggling.
Speaker BSo, Rachel, thank you so much for being here.
Speaker BThank you for sharing all of that wisdom.
Speaker BTell people where they can find out more about you and indeed the podcast and all the great work that you're doing, great.
Speaker AThank you.
Speaker ASo if you want to connect with me and learn more about the work that we do, the best way to do that is via our website.
Speaker ASo Our website is www.capedtherapy.com K A P P E D therapy dot com.
Speaker AYou can sign up phone call to chat with me there.
Speaker AAnd also there's links to all the other things that we sort of talked about today, including Learn Smarter, the educational therapy podcast that's available wherever you listen to podcasts and you do not have to listen in order go to the episode that connects with you.
Speaker AWe also have really, really wonderful conversations with former learners and former clients who've worked with us who sort of speak to their own journey throughout the process.
Speaker ASo if you want to hear about that and then we give it all away for free on the podcast, Mark, because I'm.
Speaker AWe're so deeply aligned with equality of access and, you know, the understanding that not everybody is going to be able to have access to educational therapy.
Speaker ASo go to the podcast and learn and enjoy Me and Steph talking about our blinds.
Speaker BAmazing.
Speaker BYes.
Speaker BFantastic.
Speaker BRachel, thank you so much.
Speaker BIt's been a wonderful conversation.
Speaker BI've got a lot out of it, and I'm sure I've.
Speaker BEveryone listening will live the same.
Speaker BSo, yeah, keep up the great work.
Speaker BAnd, yeah, thanks once again.
Speaker AThank you so much.